Sometimes it is difficult to rest and, instead, we are caught in a cycle of productivity that does not seem to stop. Many people have this dilemma inside, and we are going to look at it through an IFS perspective. There are at least two parts at play
ONE PART wants to rest. This part lives in the body and makes itself present through a sense of tiredness. This part wants to slow down and rest. Any commitment or intention to do something is a bother to this part, yet resting is not possible.
ANOTHER PART wants to the opposite. Thoughts emerge to make plans, and all the “things to do” come to mind. All of a sudden we start doing these tasks, only to find that the body is tired and that thoughts are jarred because of lack of rest.
These two parts are sabotaging each other. The part that wants to rest controls bodily functions and does not lend energy to the part that would like to complete tasks. At the same time, the part that wants to complete tasks does not allow the body to rest fully; as soon as the body relaxes, some thoughts come to mind and chances of relaxation go away.
These two parts are, in IFS language, polarised. As a consequence, the system cannot go either one way (full rest) or the other (commitment to completing a task).
Polarisation
Two parts are polarised when they want the system to feel or act in ways that do not seem compatible with each other. Polarised parts usually take extreme roles.
Productivity Stress as the result of polarised parts
IFS offers a language to describe what is causing stress in our system. In this case, it is caused by the fact that two parts (the resting part and overachieving part) are both trying to protect the system and the get in the way of each other. The result is that both parts are activated at the same time, which consumes a lot of energy even if we are not doing much.
The way forward is to pay attention to both parts and understand what each of them is trying to achieve. Imagine to be an observer who, for a moment, asks these polarised parts to stop interacting with each other. If the parts agree to do so, it is possible to get to know each of them individually without triggering the other. Please note that it might not be possible for these parts to stop interacting with each other and the help of a therapist is necessary in this case.
At this point, we proceed with interviewing the protectors using the 6 F’s (as explained in the IFS model) to find out what these parts are protecting and what they are scared would happen if they stopped behave the way they do. Giving our compassionate and undivided attention to these parts will ease the tension that these parts hold. Remember though that we are aiming at giving and honouring parts’ freedom as much as possible and we do not want to force or push any of these parts into changing anything unless they are willing to do so when they are willing to do so.
Interviewing the Resting part
This is an example of what information we might gather by interviewing this protector.
This part is concerned that the system is not getting enough sleep and there is never “down time”.
When acting in a balanced way, this part makes sure the system recovers and gets basic needs like sleep, nutrition and peace met. Unfortunately, it has been a long time since the system could take a break and relax. As a consequence, this part has had to take a more extreme role and had to withdraw energies from activities to make sure that the system reduces its levels of engagement with tasks.
This part is protecting the wellbeing of the system and is blaming the overachieving part.
Interviewing the Overachieving Part
This part is invested in producing results and achieving as much as possible. It started to behave this way during the final years of high school when parents were separating and they did not have time for their children.
Achieving good grades was never a problem, but, “good” was not enough any more. To get some attention and love from parents, results needed to be extraordinary.
The system, at that age, had a lot of energy available and it was possible to study without resting. The amazing results brought admiration and success, and this part is very proud of how it pushed the system to the limit.
The link between Productivity Stress and Overachievement Anxiety explained
Having heard from both parts, we can understand much better the inner dynamics of the system that are causing productivity stress.
Stress is a strategy used by the overachieving part to push the system to the limit. This part has learned from the high school period that good results lead to love and appreciation. This part though, does not seem to have been updated to the current circumstances. In particular, the part does not know that there is no more need for continuous love and appreciation from parents, and that the energies available are not as many as during school time.
If we had more time to get to know the overachieving part better, we would realise that it is protecting a teenage exile who is anxious that, unless they overachieve, there will be no support from parents. The overachievement anxiety is therefore held by neither of the two protectors, but by an exile.
Here is a potential explanation of what is happening
The preset situation requires that some tasks are completed well;
The teenage exile feels the anxiety of overachievement for fear of losing the attention of parents;
The overachieving protectors comes alive to make sure the exile is not triggered by the situation. This causes a first layer of stress because this protector does not allow for “down time” (for the protector “down time” = exposing the teenage exile to more fear);
The resting part comes alive because the system is not getting enough recovery time, but it encounters the opposition of the productivity part;
The polarisation causes further stress (that adds to the overachievement anxiety).
Moving forward
Having established all the causes of stress, we can proceed in different ways (mainly depending on circumstances). The person might decide that it is, indeed, possible to slightly reduce the time spent doing tasks, and reserve some time to rest.
It would be possible to have some IFS therapy to heal the anxiety held by the exile so that the overachieving protector might spontaneously reframe its behaviour.
Finally, it might not be possible to make any changes to avoid any drop in productivity.
One final note…
I hope this article has given you some insight into the IFS method. I personally write these articles and they are freely available on my website. I kindly ask that you reference them by quoting this webpage if you use them for personal, professional or educational purposes.
If there are topics you would like to know more about, please let me know.